I'm not strong. I'm just trying to hold on. I'm not brave. I'm just betting with everything I have. I'm not without temper. I'm just trying my best to understand. Sometimes I think I'm too childish with things, but what have I really gained with all these? I'm on the verge right now.. Trying to hold on to this thinnest part of the rope.. I'm not asking you to catch my fall, it would be enough to pull me up and let me walk myself out.

累了....

Talked with a friend today. Have been ages I think.. Talked about the good days. Coming to the topic of our good old argument. Fidelity. I have argued with many others through the years about this. What does it really mean to a person? I have come across a very good quote on this that was sent by a friend(although I cannot remember what exactly the words were, I quite remember the thought). It says that it is not wrong to have flings with the opposite sex when you're not in a relationship, but once you're into one, know your boundaries, playing with fire might be fun, but in the end, when all is gone, all you have is yourself to weep.

Time has not changed both of us. But being into this relationship has changed some thinking(as I believed) The last time I had an argument about this was with my special someone. If I remembered correctly, I was having the fidelity thought in my mind as an essential thing in every relationship. But he asked what do you really mean by fidelity and then I remembered being asked this and that.

Now, after an afternoon arguing, what is the extent of "fidelity"? Is it just about being contented? I believe it's more of a discipline. It is a choice. You being contented, being careful of what you already have. True that in this world, there are always things that is more beautiful than what you have, but once you see something better and left what you already have, is there any guarantee that you will be happy(for the mean time maybe). To what extent then? Meeting someone from the net? Being with an old flame? Sparking some new fire from somewhere? I was thinking, what if this happened to me? To what extent would I be able to accept it from my partner?

From here, to what extent now am I willing to forgive? I have much patience, but if it runs out, I'm near the point of no return. On my perspective before, I would be very much willing to leave everything behind if there would be such thing. But i have no sure answer right now.

But one thing I am pretty sure right now is that honesty never run out of fashion. Honesty in the sense that the partner is the first one to give the information not after a whole lot of questioning dawned upon him.

What a girl NEED to find out she will. Tried and tested. So don't try to conceal things from the gals.

I think i'm paying the price for speaking too little and feeling too much.  Sensitivity never come easy from guys doesn't it?  :'(
Wanting so little yet it's still too much.

我不喜欢哭。。因为哭了就会忘记自己是为什么而哭。。
有一些事记在心里，安静了下来，回想看看，会想得更清楚。。
可是有时候，事情想清楚了会更痛。。
我就是这样，常常把一些事憋在心里，到了极点就会爆发。。
人嘛，谁不会哭？开心会笑到哭，痛了也一定会哭的。。